LATE NIGHT MUSINGS ON WHAT WAS...

Looking back on my time i spent in L A with my brothers and friends... its hard not to view it with rose colored glasses... but on nights like this i find myself wondering what could have been... if maybe we would have handled things a little differently... i like most twenty-somethings that move to L A to "make it" in the music industry... the first taste of modest success makes you actually feel like you could really do it... its all there ... you know?... its so close that you can almost taste playing shows to 100000 people... even just the feeling of having someone come up to you after you have played and tell you that you touched them in a way that you may have been touched by a hero of yours in the past... those are days that i never appreciated at the time... but now i would give almost anything to play with those guys again... to get it really going on stage... to feel that strange levitation that happens when it is really clicking...in hindsight there were a lot of dark times as well... passing out mid song on stage... vomit and all the glorious rock and roll cliches that i entered into with almost no grasp of the consequences that would follow from taking the trip on that road...but i hope this isn't the end of that story... but for a moment... i felt what it truly was that makes people do this... chase the stupid childhood dreams... to sit and watch for that last gleaming second of the lit fuse on a stick of dynamite before it goes off in your face and sends you and your wishes into the stratosphere in one glorious explosion.